Archive for February, 2005
Anticipation of Europe Trip
It’s final. Everything will be over in exactly 3 weeks time. Then we’ll be jetting off for our long awaited holiday before heading home for good in April. The plane ticket should arrive by next week, it’s been such a long time since we last had a ‘real’ ticket to fly as we’ve always been using e-tickets to travel within the continent. Now this sounds like an important departure. It is. Isn’t it.
This isn’t as easy as I’ve thought, packing my 7 years worth of belongings is very stressful. I just realised that I have far too many things in my room and it’s impossible to ship every item back cos mum has already warned me not to bring back anymore ‘rubbish’. But every rubbish in my room has their individual sentimental values that I’m struggling to let go of. Just a simple task of shredding my lecture notes and bank statements dated back from college days to my final year felt so strange, it’s like I’m wiping off the entire history I’ve been in UK… this isn’t easy for me.
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Second Thoughts
I remember in the past when I came across oversea bloggers who kept moaning about their hesitations in going back home for good, I did not understand why they felt so good about staying abroad being second class immigrants… I certainly didn’t agree with them despite living in UK for almost a decade. I was always desperate to go home so when I graduated, it became a natural decision for me to kick start my career in Malaysia when time comes. All the procedures happened so naturally I didn’t even have a single second thought about this because I was so adamant about my decision.
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We have now more or less finalised our date of departure and we are really busy doing a lot of packing, shipping, selling our belongings and planning for our trip as well as some practical stuff for the near future. It’s when all these things gradually become reality and knowing that what I’ve been longing for is about to be materialised, I start to fret and panic about everything. I’ve got this sudden sense of nostalgia for almost every spot of Liverpool that I’ve been and frequent, such as the cafe that I go to every afternoon during lunch break, the pictureque scenic view that cheers me up every morning when I go to work and so on. I don’t even bitch about the English weather anymore as I know it’s something I will miss very soon. Remember I used to loathe the scoucers and especially their funny accents that I couldn’t stop complaining but now most of my friends are these passionate locals whom I can only communicate and joke around with, wheareas the fellow Malaysian friends that I recently met really make me feel out of place.
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Despite the thought of basking under the hot sun everyday doesn’t sound too appealing nor the lack of manners and the funny attitudes that I’ve been getting by these new acquaintances aren’t helping me much for my emotional preparation, I still remember where I come from and where I should be going from here. Whether I like it or not, I just need to accept it.
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:P 
too bad
